Yesterday I heard on T.V. that childre in foster care, when reaching the age of 18, are put out on their own, no money, no place to go, no place to live and most often no job. Now what in the heck are the politicians THINKING ??? What good does it do to save these children from abused homes, or abandonment, give them a decent place to live, hopefully with kindness and love and understanding, something most of them have never experienced, only to be kicked to the street at their most vulnerable age. Surely if we can have half-way houses for drug addicts (who chose that behavior as opposed to abandoned/abused children who had no choice), we should be able to have a transition home until they get their "feet wet", find a job and get acclimated.
When I first moved to CA., I wanted to volunteer for something involving children, so I became a mentor to a 17 yr old boy living in a group home, and as much as I looked forward to that job, it was short lived. I met "Josh" at his group home when they were holding a get-together for volunteers and kids to get together. He was a very sweet boy, tall, slim and very polite. I was looking forward to being a guiding force for him, since he didn't have family...(I never found out the story) and we did a few things together. I took him to the Orange County fair, the flea market, movies, etc. There was a woman in her mid 30's who was the "house parent", we'll call her Pam, and she seemed to have a special affinity for Josh. I felt it the first time I was at the house, and as additional occasions came up, I took particular notice of her behavior. The last time I was convinced she was more involved with Josh than the law allowed...She really showed partiality, was always rubbing his back or neck, or hugging him, etc. I was pretty convinced she was sexually involved with him, so I decided not to volunteer with Josh any further. I felt bad that I didn't keep in touch with him, but I was really reluctant to talk to anybody about my feelings, in the event I was wrong, and If I WASN"T wrong, she could make sure I never did volunteer work with kids again. So, I took the easy way out and bowed out. I have wondered often what became of him.
It's so sad that these kids are at the mercy of the very ones hired to protect them...just as we discussed in Matt-Speak's blog. I saw young teen girls interviewed and they were scared to death of what would happen to them. The object of the news story was that they were giving college scolarships to some of these kids..they were SO excited. But what happens to the other 99 percent? Not all foster children are hardened and streetwise....some are very sweet and innocent. I think to myself, "I have an extra room, it would be so great to take in one of these young girls and give her a room of her own, help her get some financial aid for college,. etc.
Then I think of Heidi....my children will remember her. I met Heidi when I was secretary to the Patrol Capt. at the FT. Worth Police Dept. My office was accross the hall from the jail, and I was working the 3-11 shift when she walked in and asked if anyone could help her. It seems that she and her girlfriend hailed from Maine to Texas by hitchhiking with a truck driver. When they arrived in Tx. they went to a house of friends of the truck driver. Well, it seems the girlfriend (she and Heidi were both 15 yrs old) got cozy with said truck driver, stole Heidi's suitcase and all her belongings and took off...Heidi managed to find a way to the police Dept. asking for help.
Now Heidi was a farm girl from rural Maine, and with pink cheeks and baby fat body, she was as green as grass as to the ways of the world. She wouldn't allow me to call her parents because they 1) would be angry with her, 2) were too poor to send her any money to come back home.
I asked the Lieutenant on duty what I should do. It was a Fri. nite and everything was closed. I called the red cross, they advised me they had no facilities for such things, suggested I call the Gospel Mission. Ye GADS!!! The Gospel Mission was and old, delapated building for alcoholics, dirty, dank, roach infested and horrible. I told the Lt. I would see her sleep on a bench in the park first! Having run out of options, I took her home.
Well, needless to say, it was a little crowded.....I had a 3 bdrm home , 8 kids and me..and now Heidi. Luckily, my oldest daughter, if I remember correctly was old enough to get her own apt. accross town where she worked..she and a girlfriend shared. My other daughter was as loving and giving to Heidi sharing her small bedroom with a complete stranger that mom brought home. Heidi was such a sweet girl, she lived with us over two years until she met the man of her dreams and got married. Last time I saw her, she had a baby and was very happy.
Well, as I sit here I am no closer to an answer to the problem than I was before I started this.
Like everybody else, I want so bad to help but have no clue where to start. If only I had Bill Gates money.......if only..........what wonders I could do. If only!
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6 comments:
I wish you had Bill Gates' money too. What a wonderful kind person you are. My daughter bought a boy home from the bus stop once. Never met him before. He had nowhere to go. Within 5 mins he was calling me Mum and stayed with us for a long time. He had so many issues though because he had been abused. She has been doing this all her life. She just became a lawyer to help disadvantaged teenagers with legal problems. Sometimes I think about children born into horrific family environments who have no chance from the start. Sounds like you have done more than your share anyway, besides think of it like this you have a lot of children yourself and each of them probably helps others in their own way, then their children will do like wise so you have made a real impact. By the way, you write so well, and your posts are really entertaining. Maybe thats where Matt gets his writing skills from.
Hey Mom~
I remember it all like it was yesterday. "Birdie" was a real inspiration to me. Even though we were close in age, she seemed so much older than me. I remember taking her to Treasure City to buy make up. She then got one of the boys to take her to Casual Corner where she put some clothes on lay-away for work.
She got a job at Tandy. She was soooo excited. I remember she was very organized and always washed her own clothes and ironed them for work the next day.
She never was an inconvenience on anyone. It truly was a blessing for her that you took her in. Things for her could have turned out so much worse.
I'm so proud of my mama!
awwwww, now I'm blushing. Thank you Lilly for such kind praise. You daughter sounds like someone I would love to work with on the children issue.....you did a great job with her, you know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree....
Jules, you remember much more than I did, including her name...LOL. Heidi was the other gal who stayed w/us for a short time. Anyway, Birdie was a sweetheart. Backatcha on that proud thing. You are my inspiration for many stories.
Awesome post, Mom. I agree with Lilly that you have done so much in your own way that you just may not realize. If each of your kids helps in some small way and then it spreads to their kids, friends or anyone else, then you have done much! Very nice reminiscing through your story. Thanks for the great post.
You are awesome and inspiring and so loving and wonderful. Oh, the people you must touch! You have a passion for life and for people. Wish more people had the same. They are missing out on many joys. Blessings to you and yours! Kelly
I agree with you and Lilly. I wish you have Bill Gates money, too. That was such a heart-warming story. It's good to know and hear about people, like you, who have made and are still making a difference in somebody's life everyday. Your children were also very accomodating. It seems that they are softies like you are.
May God Bless you all, always.
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