Wednesday, May 28, 2008

WHY ARE THERE NO "DO-OVERS?"

I know as I sit here typing that every mother that ever was wished she had "do-overs". While lying in bed last night, unable to sleep, I was doing what I do soooo very often, thinking of the years of bringing up my children and mistakes made... (there were oodles)
One incident that I dwelled on was comical yet sorta tragic. Let me preface it by saying that when My children were teens, I was a paranoid basket case that they would all end up drug addicts because of the abusive and disturbing childhood, so I decided to take the football and run with it, demanding that none of my children would go to Rock Concerts. My impression of them was a lot of drugs, bad behavior, sex, etc. NO WAY were my children going to be exposed to that.

So, one Friday evening my 17 yr old son asked me for some money for gas. Having no cash (big news bulletin) I told him to ask his sister, she had gotten paid that day (she worked at a fast food place). He asked where she was, and I said "she's at Vivian's house"...she was spending the night with Viv. So, he called Vivian's house to ask her, and Vivian's mom advised that the girls had left with the guys! My dtr was 16 yrs old at the time). My son related the msg, and I lost it...I yelled "WHAT GUYS, and to WHERE?"
Vivians mom, a saner person than me, said they had gone to a rock concert in Dallas. Holy moses. That was impossible....after all I preached on that subject! I sent my 17 yr old and his friend to Dallas to retrieve her, but when he got there, the band had started, and they would not let him in without a tkt, and needless to say...........so , he came back home. I was livid! I said to myself, "ok, she won this round, but just wait.....!"

I took one of my other boys, age 15, with me in the car and parked in front of Vivian's house to await their arrival. It was November and it was cold. We sat in the car, and somewhere around 11 P.M. we both fell asleep. My daughter came home (don't know what time) and saw me asleep in the car, knew she was in deeeeep trouble, so ran into Vivian's house and went to bed. I woke up at 1:a.m. and sent my son to the door to get her. Vivian's mom answered and said "well, the girls are asleep!" OK, she won round two, but just wait.........................

The next morning, I was making breakfast for the family, and asked my 15 yr old son to go take my car to the grocery store ( 5 blocks away), for some milk, and swing by Vivian's and pick up his sister. He left, and I sat like a tiger about to pounce on a wildebeest, smacking my lips and steam coming out of my ears! I was at least going to win round three! WRONG ! My 15 yr old came home with the milk and his sister. I started into my tirade promising a lifetime of grounding among other non-sensicle threats, and her response was "I don't care what it costs me, it was worth it". when alas, there was a knock on the door. I was ranting so loud I didn't hear it. I might mention that my 15 yr old had gone straight to his room to CLEAN IT!!!! What's wrong with that picture????

I answered the door and there stood a uniformed police officer and two sheriff's officers. I was so mad at said dtr for breaking the rules and then flaunting it in my face by letting me sleep in a cold car, that I didn't want to deal with the police, but I did ask what they wanted. The police officer asked, "maam, is that your brown plymouth in the driveway?" I said, "yes, why?"He responded that it had been involved in an accident. I went to my son's bdrm and asked if he had been in an accident. He said yes. I said "what did you hit?" He said a fire hydrant. I was still so mad at my dtr I didn't care. I said to the police officer "so he hit a fire hydrant, what do I have to do?" He responded "well, maam, he hit more than a fire hydrant, he hit this officers (sheriff) parked car and knocked it up on his front porch!" oh dear....................

When he finished writing tickets for "unlicensed driver", "leaving the scene of an accident" among 5-6 other things, I had enough pink paper to wallpaper the kitchen. I walked out to the kitchen and waved them in my daughters face and said "do you STILL think it was worth any price you have to pay?" Her response was "Mom, you can't blame me for that. You know better than to let an unlicensed driver drive your car!" TALK ABOUT ADDING INSULT TO INJURY..........................The worst part of raising this child was since she learned to talk at age 2, she was always right. Really. She was so logical, I hated her at times...(not really).

Losing Round 3, 4, 5, 6. etc, I finally resigned myself to second place. I had no rank even thought I was the mother!

However, this said daughter was my right arm while trying to work and raise 8 children. At the age of 10 when I went to work, 1st night I came home thinking, OMG, now I have 13 loads of wash to do, supper to make, homework, etc. etc. I didn't know how or when I would get every thing accomplished. As I entered the house, there was a marvellous dinner on the table, consisting of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad and iced tea. She had made it all and had the smaller children all washed up for dinner. I cried! She and I have a special theme song for the two of us, "You and me against the World" by (aw, her name escapes me now).

If ONLY a guardian angel had whispered in my ear " relax mom, you don't need to worry so, it will all turn out just fine", I could have enjoyed my darling darling children so much more, and I'm sure they would have benefited greatly from a lot less hysterics! Oh well, it DID turn out just fine!

9 comments:

tashabud said...

This is hysterical! I’m in total awe. I don’t know how you handled eight by yourself! I suppose it helped that you have a very mature daughter, beyond her age, to help you. I find your life story so fascinating. Hmm…Would the 15-year old son be the famous Matt? Hehehe. I’ll get out of here before I get myself in more trouble for prying. Lol.

Mom8 said...

Hi Tashabud, no Matt was one incredible child, never a moments worry, it was David...and he was scared out of a years growth!....lol

Matt said...

Correction, never a moment's worry that you knew about! lol That was a fun post to read. And the funny thing is that it is literally the tip of the iceburg. There are so many more. Oh, Tasha, ask my about when she won the Parents Without Partners (PWP) "Mother of the Year" award! Maybe we can get her or Jewels to post the picture of that (It was in the newspaper and all the kids were gathered around her). Very cute! And quite an honor!!

tashabud said...

I certainly would love to read about this. Be looking forward to it. Good night.

Jules said...

Mom that was funny. It was and it wasn't. I forgot all about Vivian. I wonder what concert was worth all that?? My first concert was Janet Snow taking Shelley and me to see Donny Osmand. argh

I never was much of a concert going gal. Still to this day I would much rather watch em perform on TV.

Poor Leigh! You too had some hefty battles for sure. I was scared when you mentioned the officer at the door you might be referring to when I wrecked your Mercury driving David to work. wups.

Another story......
bahahahahah

tashabud said...

mom08, thanks for stopping by. i don't know how i miss this one at all. sorry to take this long to acknowledge your comment. please do visit again to see where this novel is going to.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008 12:58:00 PM

Lilly said...

Thats an amazing story, you should so write a book. I only had two teenagers in my house and that was enough, oh so many stories aren't there? And yes there are always things we may have done differently but hey as long as it turns out ok in the end. I know what you mean when you say it was you and your daughter against the world. I think when you are a single parent you often have a very special relationship with your children - I know I have with my daughter. I really identify with your posts I have to say but truly I salute you for bringing up 8 children - that I cannot imagine but I am sure it brings you a great deal of joy to see them all grown up now. Thanks for the great post.

Mom8 said...

Thanks Lily for your kind words. I was in Texas for the past week with my kids, having a blast, so haven't posted anything for a while. Have to do that ASAP!
Hope all is well with you and all the postersssss...lol

Vikki North said...

Hi Mom8,
Again thanks for stopping by my blog and your sweet comment. This is such a great story and you have a wonderful outlook on life. (And you’re so funny. I love that more than anything.) Like Lilly I was a single mother of two and can identify with you, but I can’t begin to fathom what it was like dealing with 8 kids. You must have a myriad of stories that could easily make an excellent book (or movie).